I know you are scrolling as fast as you can, anxiously reading to get
a glimpse on what the future has in store for you. Well... You
will have a beautiful life.
Wait a minute. How do I write this letter? Past tense? Present? I? You? So confusing. Don't judge me by this letter. I am usually better than this :)
Anyway here goes...
Your family loves you, yes, your pesky little sister who you
think lives just to annoy you included. The friends you make, you are lucky to
have them in your life.
The boarding school that you are dreading right now... Don’t.
You will come out at the end of 2 years with not just a high school degree and
wonderful friends, but also an open mind which will probably be your
biggest asset. An Engineering degree, a job. Easy Peasy!
Let’s see what else… all those dance lessons did not pay off but I guess
you figured that out already!. And no, you never do get over your fear of heights or the
giant wheel. But that hasn’t stopped you from para sailing or zip lining or enjoying
(read, tricked into getting in one and subsequently screaming to be let off the entire time) the giant wheel and other terrifying rides.
You discover that you love to travel. Remember how you wanted to see Disney World when you were little? Congratulations !! You made it to Disneyland, Florida !! Your work permit for
the US of A was more like your golden ticket to follow your heart.
Speaking of the heart… yes, you fall in love with someone
totally unexpected! I will not tell you who, mostly because you won’t believe
me anyway :D No, he is not your first, or your second, or your third. What can I say, the path to finding a prince is paved with kissing a lot of frogs. It's one of life's rules. Look it up! Just know that you love him unconditionally.
And then darling, you will give it all up.
Career, love, happiness everything.
I am typing this letter from the confines of a room which I like to call my prison. Hiding from friends and family, pretending this is what I have wanted all along... pretending to be a person when I am just a broken shell, inches away from a sliced open vein.
All this because I did not have the courage to stand up for
Right now, I feel this is the end. And it probably is, the end of me.
But you my darling, have years ahead of you.
So, when the
time comes, do not be afraid to say No, to put yourself first. Don’t give up on
your dreams because of some decision which seemed relevant in the past. Do not be
afraid of change. Stand up for your happiness. You are worth it. Trust me.
I know I have been weak. I am sorry. I really am. Just promise me you will do better, much better.
The other day I spent some time reading old blog posts
trying to remember the kind of person I used to be.
I realized, I was amazing ... no seriously!
I was knowledgeable. At the very least I had good vocabulary. I knew fancy words which I
casually threw around in my posts. Words like lackadaisical, gauche and what
not… I ended up referring to the
dictionary to see what I meant.
I was smart. I was funny. I was happy. I was witty. I was
kind too. And I loved life.
I was a person.
Today I am benighted, desolate, dispirited and peevish,
impassively going through the motions of life; pining for eternal rest.
Oh well, at least I
still know a few almost-fancy words.