Truth about forever.

If I were to walk out of my life right now, I would probably be making the best decision in a long time. Today I am everything I have never wanted to be; lost, broken, discouraged, scared and most of all unhappy. Please, I cannot live like this anymore.

I could have walked out yesterday. But I didn't, because that would mean hurting all the people who have always been there for me. At least, that's what I have been telling myself.
But, that is not true.
I didn't walk out because I was afraid. I still am. I am afraid of their pity. I am afraid of their disappointment. I am afraid of admitting that I have been lying to them myself the whole damn time. 

Next time I would walk out, I tell myself. Next time. Hope it's not too late.

Yesterday I did not lie to protect you, I did not lie so that they can stop worrying either. I lied because I was ashamed of the truth.