Weird rules from my school days

I guess, most schools have at least one weird rule and my old school is no exception. I did my schooling in an all girl’s convent school and most of my high school days were plagued by this mad nun, Sister S, who was first our vice principal and was later promoted to principal.

Anyways,

Sister S, this post is to you and your weird rules.

Weird rule #1: No shushing allowed. (Applicable to class monitors)

We were allowed to say ‘keep quite’, ‘don’t talk’ and the likes but heavens forbid if we decided to shush the unruly class. According to Sister S, shushing represents extreme un-lady like behavior as the only people who shush are poultry farmers...
My friend M, kept chicken as pets and not a single one responds to shushing ... we checked!... and one fine day I was peeved enough to point it out. Consequently I got an extra thousand lines of ‘I will not chase murgis in the class’ … yup! murgis… not hen or poultry or chicken, but murgis.

Moving on…

Weird rule #2: No entering the classroom in the lunch hour.

It does not matter if it rains so hard that we drown or it is so hot outside that we get sun strokes a student must NOT enter the classroom during the lunch break. Rainy days were ok … actually, rainy days were fun … but it made summers rather difficult since we did not have a cafeteria.
One very hot June day we decided to break the rule and sure enough Sister S decided to come on her ‘surprise’ rounds that day. Everyone escaped through the back door but we forgot to switch off the fan. Hence all class monitors had to sweep the classroom after school for a month! … coz you know, leaders are supposed to set good example and all that jazz.

and I thought class monitors always got scot free.


Weird rule #3: Strict dress code and absolutely no makeup.

Ok, this is not a weird rule. I just wanted to share a funny story.

There was a pair in our school, couple of years senior I think, with a penchant for annoying Sister S. They decided red nail polish looked cool with our uniforms and decided that painting each other’s nails during class hours was the way to go. Needless to say, they got caught. And this time Sister S decided that it was time to meet their parents.
Not to be out done, the next morning they approached two random sets of parents who had come to drop their kids in kindergarten and requested them to pose as their parents and they agreed!!!

I don’t remember how this episode ended but it doesn’t really matter. No one… absolutely no one in the entire history of SA H- have arrived to meet Princi with a fake set of parents!

PS: I over reacted with the climatic conditions. I live in a hill station so no sun strokes and definitely no floods. I really don’t want you to think that the folks in my school were inhumane.
Weird… yes, but cruel … no.

PPS: Rule no 1 & 2 were retired after my batch left school. May be Sister S just loved bugging us!

SHTANGGG

That, my dear friends, is the sound of a bullet going through a window pane.

And who told me that?

Well… I have first hand information. Yesterday 9.03 pm we were shot at.

I kid you not!

And no, the shooting did not involve a camera.

It was a gun shot.

Seriously!

For proof, we have a hole in the kitchen’s window pane the size of a … umm… bullet AND we also have the remnants of the bullet.

Let me start from the beginning.

Almost twenty three years ago, on a cold morning … er… wrong beginning… Better start again.

It all happened last night. Ma was working her way through a huge tome of medical journal, papa was trying to understand the mysteries of Microsoft Word and I was studying… er… pretending to study… we suddenly hear SHTANGGG.
Ma almost immediately rushed outside to investigate the source of noise. I rushed after her to tell her she was rushing in the wrong direction. And papa decided it was more important to discover how to underline texts and did not stir.
Anyways, the police guards outside confirmed my mother’s suspicion that it was a gunshot fired very close but outside the ‘hallowed’ walls of our campus. And for last night that was that.

Next morning, that is to say today, about 7 am ma discovered the bullet hole in our kitchen window… Didn’t I tell you she was rushing in the wrong direction? Our kitchen is at the back of our house and ma was investigating way in front

And to cut a long story short(er), I will give you the aftermaths.

I have, happily taken a hiatus from the kitchen.

Ma is regaling all who cares to listen … namely, herself… with her outrageous theories of how if a shot was fired outside the campus we have a bullet hole in our window when there are two huge concrete walls between…
Dear Ma, I know you think I m being outrageous but nothe shot was not fired outside the campus.

And papa after the initial excitement is now delighting in center aligning all the titles in his document!

And our maid, is keeping a strict eye so that no one makes away with the bullet splinter people are ‘admiring’ in curious awe.

As for our kitchen’s window pane, so far 21 people have paid it a visit. I counted! … I told you I have too much free time.

And in the other news, a tree frog has jumped into our water reservoir. Perhaps the poor frog was jilted!

Windswept

I love the time just before it rains, when the skies darken and the wind quickens its pace. And the trees engage in a cosmic dance to welcome the approaching rain. It is when you can almost smell the hint of chill in the air. And for once, the world is all various shades of gray.
I love the time before the rain. As the wind washes over me, my mind is blissfully void. It’s just me and the ice cold wind, which almost lifts me off my feet, breaking me free.

*sigh*

I think I can fly!

Aim in life.

I am sure everyone must have written an essay on ‘aim in life’ at least once in their lifetime. It is like a must with English grammar teachers in this part of the world … That and my hobby. And cow.

Each time I had to write on the topic, I always turned in a piece which said ‘my aim in life is to be a doctor’. Not because I wanted to be one but coz I had an essay book whose writer wanted to be a one… Yes, I had perfected the art of cut+copy+paste (not literally, but you know what I mean) long before my engineering college days… And my teachers would go, “Awww! So sweet.” No. There was nothing endearing about my essay. In fact, I am sure, a few of my classmates who truly wanted to devote their lives to healing people turned in much more heartfelt essays. But it was always I who got those the oh-how-touching looks.

Any guesses why.

Well… my parents are doctors… not the PhD ones… and is there anything more lovable than a little girl trying to be like mommy and daddy!?

But funnily enough I have never wanted to be a doctor. Even when I did not know what I wanted to be, I knew I did not want to be a doctor. Don’t get me wrong. I do not have anything against doctors or medical science. In fact in our family of four we have three doctors… my sister is studying to be one anyway… It’s just that I don’t think it’s a good idea to trust me with anyone’s life.

Over the years, I have wanted to be a whole lot of things; an architect, a pastry chef, an artist, a volcano expert, a conspiriologist. But never a doctor… except for the one single time I thought I would look pretty chic in an apron, but i don't think that counts.
Currently I want to be a travel show host. Travel the world and get paid for it. Ah! Life could not get sweeter.

Just FYI, I have a B.Tech degree in Electronics & Communication and I am not sure what I am gonna do with it. Come to think of it I m not sure what an engineer is supposed to do anyway.

Btw, on the topic of essays, a college batch mate Z has this really funny story.

When Z’s mom was a student of standard 5, she stayed up all night learning by heart an essay on cow for her Hindi test the next morning. But the teacher set them an essay on the market place instead. But enterprising as ever Z’s mom improvised thus:
‘There are many shops in the market place. A cow was standing near the vegetable shop. A cow is a four footed domestic animal…..’ and she went on to write all that she had learnt on the cow!
Now, now, you can't waste an entire night's hard work can you!!

The Tale of Talc.

Did you know that throwing out a bottle of talcum powder is an extremely difficult job?
Read on, and you will realize why.

My dressing table is so over crowded with cosmetics and knick knacks that I had almost forgotten what the color of its surface was.

The story begins three nights ago when I decided to give my dressing table a much required spring cleaning.
In an hour the job was done but I was left with this humungous pile of junk- a few empty bottles I had never got around throwing away and mostly ancient unopened bottles of concoction gathering dust at the back since, perhaps, the beginning of time.
Amongst all these was a pink bottle of talcum powder which I never got around to using. As I was throwing it all away ma decided she could use the talc to powder her surgical gloves, so she kept it along her stethoscope to take it to the clinic the next day.
Next morning papa happened to see the bottle there and thought ma had left it amongst her medical instruments by mistake. So he bought it in and kept it on their dresser.
Later in the day, the maid saw the bottle of talc in my parents’ dresser and very thoughtfully placed it back on my dressing table!

So once more the bottle of talcum powder adorns my dressing table.

I have decided to leave it there.
After all there are always a few things you cannot change!

Why I changed my blog title

from ‘enchanted’ to an ‘imperfect life’.

It’s a sad painful story actually.
You see, of late, the magic in my life was sort of seeping away. It was as if I was slowly but surely sinking into a quagmire of blackness which sucked the happiness out of my soul. Nothing was going right. Everything I touched morphed into disaster.
So, few days back I consulted Baba Ramji Dev to find a solution to my ever mounting predicaments. He told me that the only way to set things right was to change my blog title to something completely different.

Ok I m just kidding!... Yes, I have an obscene amount of free time which I waste in writing the weirdest posts.

Actually, I just wanted to try a new look for my blog. That’s all. Changing my blog title was simply part of it. I did not even realize that my blog names have done a 180° until someone pointed it out to me.

So how did I miss the obvious?

Well… actually to me both the titles implied the same thing.

No, seriously!

I meant imperfections as in blemishes in the moon which makes it all the more enchanting… You know, like those old hindi movie dialogues!
It sort of reflects my surreal optimism.

Still not satisfied with my explanation?
OK, I will let you into a secret.
I sometimes name my blog thus simply because I like the combination of words. And unfortunately, each time I change my layout you will be subjected to more of the same.

I can sometimes be deep but... er .... mostly I am plain weird.

PS: Baba Ramji Dev is completely fictitious and bears no resemblance to anyone dead or alive.

Tête-à-tête

Ma: How can you spend the whole day in front of the laptop?

Me: I don’t know. Dedication may be.

Ma: Why don’t you go out once in a while?

Me: Can’t.

Ma: Why not?

Me: Coz I can’t be seen in public without a haircut.

Ma: And you are not getting a haircut because?

Me: I will need to go out for that. Duh!

Ma: You are so not normal. I am getting you an appointment with a psychiatrist. Young lady I mean it!

Me: Eeewww! Papa, a little help here!

Papa: *looks up from his papers and solemnly tells ma*
Let her be. After all no sane shrink will see her unless he wants a day in therapy himself!

Y.I.K.E.S!!!

One night’s sleep and I am jolted back to my senses! What a pathetically whiny post. I literally jumped out of bed the next morning to make amends… BUT… there is no net connectivity!

The internet gods were punishing me for being so incredibly pig-headed!

Er… those of you who have visited my blog could you pretend that you did not read the post? …
I mean, of course, I appreciate your feedbacks but the whole thing was… shall we say… a fiasco.
I will give you a candy if you forget it. Yeah?


Anyways, I finally have connectivity now and the post is over one day old. But at last I am gonna delete the offending post.
Muuuhaaahaaahaaahaaa…………
That’s my evil laugh, btw.

No no wait!

I think I will be mature and leave the post where it is! So that it reminds me not loose my head and pull such a stupid stunt yet again.
Ahem! But please excuse the string of hastily-written-and-sometimes-incoherent posts I m gonna put up in quick succession. I mean, yes, I am mature enough to not delete the post but not so much as to leave it on the home page for too long!

*grin*


Ok now let’s very quickly move on to brighter topics.

Did you people notice my new counter? I so love it… its just that methinks it has an expiry period and I don’t know what will happen then.

And on the home front, remember my eloped cousin B? His wife is this incredibly gorgeous Punjabi airhostess. There might be a social ceremony soon. AND it might collide with cousin TD’s wedding! If it so happens that we have to split up to attend both the ceremony… given that the venues are in opposite directions… I so hope that I get to attend the former… after all I like B better! … If, btw, you happen to know cousin TD please don’t tell her I said that.

*****

PS: All those visited my blog and commented on that last excuse-of-a-post, I love you. And those of you who did not… I love you too!

Ah! The remorse thing is making me melodramatic to say the least.

Is this blog really for the birds?

According to “few people”, I am totally wasting my time blogging when I could easily utilize my time doing other fruitful activities.

Come to think of it, I do have a few things to do.

I do have a whole three month long module of online classes, courtesy CTS, I should be concentrating upon.

And my parents could use someone to supervise the renovation of their flat in S-- and construction of the one in G--… My parents are getting the flat in G-- coz they think, since we spend 1 week a year in G-- ,it would be cheaper if we have a flat there. Ridiculous I know! But try telling that to my parents.

Also perhaps I should be making myself useful in cousin TD’s wedding because that will be the right thing to do.

Besides, look at this blog! Almost 40 posts old and there are just two people who like it enough to comment.

Thanks Sauron and Nameera.
You guys are gems!


You know what … I am not gonna update till seven different people comment on this post!

I know what you are thinking…
stupid-blogger-who-does-she-think-she-is
or
god-look-at-the-size-of-her-head
or
who-cares

I care.

No. Seriously.

I mean if after all these days of blogging I do not even have seven readers who care if I update or not I must so totally suck.
And may be “they” are actually right.
And may be i should just stick to writing in my diary.

May be I am just being immature.

*brokenhearted*

Career calls

I got a call from TCS Mumbai today. They said that their offer was still mine if I wanted it.

I refused.

After all I never wanted to join the company in the first place.
And I m sure CTS will be phoning in their joining dates soon enough. I hope.
Sure TCS is paying more… BUT I can’t put my feet in two boats now.
Can I?

So, yeah. I made the right decision.

NowifonlyIcouldgetridofthenaggingfeelingthatIhavemesseditallupyetAGAIN.

Tale of my Valentine's Day gifts

I know its been quite sometime since valentine’s day but being in an LDR we had not gotten around exchanging gifts till today… Last time we met Tenné had forgotten my presents on his bedside table! MEN!!

Its quite strange but something or the other always seems to go wrong when we set out to exchange gifts for valentine’s day… last year since I was away at college and Tenné’s workload did not allow him to come meet me he sent me a special package via courier which got lost!... The year before that ma and G ate away the entire box of chocolate I had specially ordered for him… and the year before that…
Hem! Hem! I rather not delve so deep into history now… after all that’s a total of 8 valentine’s days… but I am sure you get the idea.

So how could something not happen this year? Besides the fact that he forgot them that is.

This year, a part of Tenné’s gifts for me consisted of books. He decided to leave them in their paper carrier rather than get them all gift wrapped. And somehow… and don’t ask me how!Tenné’s elder bro ended up lending his friend one of the books!!! That too the one book he had to put quite a bit of effort to acquire.

Tenné is livid! But I think its simply hilarious!!!

Wonder what will happen next year.

The weird just got weirder

Blogger has this random question (optional) section in its profile page. Back in college, one night, I could not sleep and I had absolutely nothing to do… nothing except studies, which does not count… So I got out of bed, logged in and collected a bunch of questions which I then answered just for fun. My recreational activities tend to lean towards the weird at times!

Anyways, this fruitful exercise in banishing boredom was done almost a year back. I am sure that I will definitely have more mature answers if I were to do them now.

What do you mean?
Of course I am more mature now!!
So what if I recently mixed body soap in her anti-aging cream? She is such a COW!
My maturity is not the point here.
And I so need to get out of this italics.

OK. Got rid of the italics.
Since I really have nothing to write about but this huge desire to update my post I m gonna use my five best Q&A as an excuse for a post!

#1. Is the glass half empty or half full?
Add a good measure of rose syrup, a few ice cubes and a dash of lime. Top it with a squiggly straw and a white umbrella.
Now, tell me does it matter how much sprite was in the glass?

#2. What magic can you do with magic markers?
Colored magic… duh!

#3. Why do we think blue when we think rasperry?
Blue?! And all this while I thought raspberries were red!

#4. You spilled milk. Does it look like the moon?
I can see two moons. And two pointy ears. And a tail. And what is that? Whiskers?
Yikes!! It’s a cat!
I hate cats.

#5. How do you peel an apple in one go?
Boil apple. Blanch it in cold water. Start at the top and viola!! The apple peeled in one go.
God! Am I smart or what.

PS: No it was not my mom’s anti aging cream I doctored. But that’s another story!

*****
PPS: This is an old post. I am reposting it coz it got left out while I was shifting my blog archive.